Cointime

Cointime

Download App
iOS & Android

The New Trump Products

Failed President Donald J. Trump (R-Florida) has long tried to generate extra cash by selling Trump brand products.

For example, Trump Vodka, Trump the Game, Trump Wine, Trump Steaks, and Trump NFT Trading Cards. Predictably, most of this merchandise became the butt of jokes. Trump NFT Trading Cards even inspired a Saturday Night Live skit.

  Photo by Sean Ferigan on Unsplash


To give ourselves more stuff to mock and help Trump take more money from his marks. We shall propose some horrific new Trump Merchandise.

The Horrific New Trump Merchandise includes:

  1. The King Donald Bible. We replace the words of Christ with select quotes from The Art of the Deal.
  2. Trump Collectible Plates. These features the exclusive artwork from the Trump NFT Trading Cards.
  3. Trump Statue. Put it in your yard and give your neighbors a reason to hate you.
  4. The Trump Album. Features Trump’s greatest hits including his classic rendition of the Green Acres theme song.
  5. The Trump Wrestling Buddy. Give your kids something to hate and destroy.
  6. Actual classified documents found at Mar-a-Lago. Own copies for just $1 million a piece.
  7. The Wit and Wisdom of Donald J. Trump Sr. This book features many of Trump’s most brilliant quotes including classics from The Apprentice and The Celebrity Apprentice.
  8. The Philosophy of Donald J. Trump Sr. This book of blank pages reveals Trump’s political philosophy.
  9. The Trump Cryptocurrency. Buy it fast before the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) bans it.
  10. The Make America Great Again (MAGA) helmet. The perfect headgear to wear for our next attack on the US Capitol.
  11. Trump Cola. The Unwoke Soft Drink for Real Americans. Twice the sugar and caffeine of any other cola on the market.
  12. Trump Vacation Tour Packages. Includes tours of Mara-A-Lago, the Trump Tower, Trump’s boyhood home in Queens, stays at Trump Hotels, and golf at Trump Clubs.

So yes, you can prove your loyalty to the Donald by wasting your money on more worthless Trump merchandise. We asked Trump himself about this and he said all these things are valuable collectibles that will make you rich.

NFT
Comments

All Comments

Recommended for you

  • Trump: Details of US-Iran Agreement to Be Released After Signing on 19th

    On June 16, during the G7 summit in Évian-les-Bains, France, U.S. President Trump stated that the details of the US-Iran agreement will be made public after its official signing on the 19th. (Xinhua News Agency)

  • Iranian Foreign Minister Announces Memorandum Signing on June 19

    On June 15, Iranian Foreign Minister Amir-Abdollahian stated that a meeting between the heads of the Iranian and American negotiating delegations is expected to take place in Switzerland on June 19, during which a memorandum of understanding between Iran and the United States will be signed, followed by the first round of subsequent negotiations. (CCTV International News)

  • U.S. Senior Officials: U.S. and Iran Sign Memorandum of Understanding

    On June 16, a senior U.S. official stated that the United States has signed a memorandum of understanding with Iran. U.S. President Trump and Vice President Pence signed the memorandum, and the Speaker of the Iranian Islamic Consultative Assembly also signed the document. The official also mentioned that the agreement stipulates the immediate opening of the Strait of Hormuz and the lifting of U.S. sanctions on Iran. Traffic in the strait will significantly increase starting immediately.

  • BTC Surpasses $67,000

    Market data shows that BTC has surpassed $67,000, currently priced at $67,197.47, with a 24-hour increase of 4.94%. The market is highly volatile, so please ensure proper risk management.

  • Musk's Wealth Reaches $1.2 Trillion as SpaceX Surpasses TSMC in Valuation

    On June 15, according to the latest global billionaire rankings released by Forbes, Elon Musk, the head of Tesla and SpaceX, has seen his personal wealth soar to an astonishing $1.2 trillion, setting a historical record. He became the world's first 'trillionaire' in the previous trading day. This wealth phenomenon is primarily attributed to the strong performance of his two flagship companies. Recent market data shows that SpaceX (SPCX) has reached a total valuation of $2.28 trillion (approximately $2.28 trillion), surging 8% in a single day, officially surpassing semiconductor giant TSMC (TSM), which has a market value of $2.26 trillion, and entering the top tier of U.S. stock market valuations, ranking sixth. Currently, the top three in the U.S. stock market by total market value are Nvidia ($5.05 trillion), Google, and Apple. SpaceX, with its absolute dominance in the commercial space and Starlink sectors, continues to see its valuation skyrocket, becoming the core pillar of Musk's trillion-dollar fortune.

  • Philadelphia Semiconductor Index Soars 4.7% in Early Trading

    On June 15, the Philadelphia Semiconductor Index opened high, rising by 4.7%. Nvidia's stock price increased by 2.67%, TSMC's stock price rose by 3.76%, Broadcom's stock price went up by 3.37%, Micron Technology's stock price surged by 9.31%, Advanced Micro Devices' stock price climbed by 6.61%, and ASML's stock price gained 1.47%.

  • SpaceX Raises Approximately $85.7 Billion in Initial Public Offering

    On June 15, SpaceX announced that underwriters have fully exercised their over-allotment option in the IPO, purchasing an additional 83.33 million shares. SpaceX has raised approximately $85.7 billion through the IPO.

  • Nasdaq Golden Dragon China Index Rises Over 1%

    On June 15, the Nasdaq Golden Dragon China Index rose over 1%. Canaan Inc. increased by 13.84%, EHang soared by 10.86%, Zai Lab gained 5.59%, Xunlei rose by 5.16%, and Kingsoft Cloud climbed by 5.31%.

  • Anthropic Sued by User for Allegedly Inflating Subscription Usage Limits

    On June 15, according to The Wall Street Journal, a consumer is seeking compensation from Anthropic for its highest-tier subscription plan and has accused the company of exaggerating the usage limits provided. The lawsuit claims that Anthropic misled consumers regarding the usage restrictions of its Max 5x and Max 20x subscription plans. The cheapest Pro subscription for individual users costs between $17 and $20 per month, while the Max 5x costs $100 per month and the Max 20x costs $200 per month. The lawsuit alleges that Anthropic advertised the Max 5x and Max 20x plans as having 5 times and 20 times the usage limits of the Pro plan, respectively, but the actual limits are difficult to determine and appear to be far below the advertised levels. The lawsuit seeks to qualify for a class action on behalf of users who purchased these packages since April of last year.

  • ETH Surpasses $1800

    Market data shows that ETH has surpassed $1800, currently priced at $1804.82, with a 24-hour increase of 8.2%. The market is experiencing significant fluctuations, so please ensure proper risk management.

Daily Must-Read

Popular Activities

RaveDAO at Terra Solis by Tomorrowland: A Female-Led Techno Night Where Web3 Culture Converges

RaveDAO at Terra Solis by Tomorrowland: A Female-Led Techno Night Where Web3 Culture Converges

April 30 - April 30
Dubai

Popular Tags

Cointime
News
Contents
RSS
Company